Today I decided to write a letter. A letter about love. First of all, for my dear friend who recently experienced a painful break-up. Second, for all the women (myself included) whoever needed a reminder that self-love is non-negotiable.
First things first, self-love is quite different from selfishness. It should be clear. Self-love is wonderful and healthy while egoism is self-protection based on personal uncertainty. True self-love is an indicator of maturity, internal work, and living in harmony with the universe. It’s the result of personal growth. True love also always goes together with independence and confidence from within.
Additionally, we can show up for others only if we show up for ourselves first. The idea is so simple. We cannot give the best to the people and the world if we don’t nourish ourselves properly. The way we feel about ourselves ultimately reflects the way the whole world responds to us.
One day I realized that I am the only person who will spend the entirety of my time — from my first breath to the last one — with me. It shifted my attitude from occasional criticism and never-ending perfectionism towards warmth, kindness, love, and compassion for myself. Learning to speak my truth, live in my own harmony and generating self-love has become my priority.
There is nothing more important than the realization that you are a unique, delicate, breathing creature. With your one of the kind composition of genes, way of thinking, and dreams. With unique fingerprints and beautiful facial features. You are a complete creation and you should not seek outside confirmation that you are worthy of life or love. This is given to all of us a priori. We all won an incredible lottery, being among the people living on our planet now. And there is no question, whether we should respect and love ourselves or not. If you think globally, then we are all one, unique and equally worthy of abundant love.
With that said, there are so many important things you should do for yourself – things that help you cultivate internal kindness, love and give you the opportunity for greater growth.
Here are a few ideas
Take good care of your body. Nourish yourself by cooking healthy food and always serve it beautifully and with love. Choose a physical activity that brings you joy. Let your body rest when it needs it. Enjoy fresh air every day, communicate with loved ones on a regular basis. Spend more time doing your hobbies and nourish your mind by reading good books.
Drive yourself to the movies. As oddly as it might sound. The only condition here, don’t let yourself feel sad or deprived because you are alone. This is the whole point! Make it an act of love and care, enjoy your independence. Simply be in the moment. Experience joy and have fun — laugh out loud if you feel like it! Choose exactly what you want to see and enjoy a nice morning/day/night out. I believe that learning to listen to what we actually want can be incredibly important for creating a happy life.
Take yourself on a beautiful walk. Watch the birds, watch the sunset. Enjoy sun rays on your cheeks or raindrops on your hair. Celebrate the beauty of nature with nature.
Buy yourself flowers. Every week if you feel like it. It’s fun! Plus, you can never make a mistake by picking the wrong flowers, haha. There is something magical in the smell of fresh flowers in the house. It elevates the mood and makes our surroundings nicer. And the act of getting flowers always feels like a “treat yourself” moment. The same moment you feel when you are savoring a little piece of decadent dark chocolate, or putting on a new perfume. That’s being said, it doesn’t even have to be flowers. Whatever little thing that makes you feel happy, cozy, and adored.
Make time for dates with yourself. Regularly, even if you are in a happy relationship. It could be on a calm morning in a coffee shop or a new exhibition at the museum, or a favorite restaurant. Come along and learn to enjoy time with yourself, along with your thoughts and desires (not your phone). Experience that joy of taking time for yourself.
Do not be afraid to go on vacation yourself. I have not tried this option yet, because it requires a bit more preparation. It seems to me that Julia Roberts’s character in Eat Pray Love is a wonderful embodiment of revealing true self through traveling.
There are probably other ideas to take care of yourself and show yourself some love. What are your thoughts on it? I will be more than happy to hear from you!
P.S. Oh, yes! Meditation can be a beautiful way to connect with yourself as well which will eventually generate love.
Below I am sharing my favorite mantras that help cultivate a feeling of love and warmth. They can be nice addition to any meditation session (inspired by Melody Beattie).
I am enough.
I am love.
I am perfect the way I am right now.
I have everything in me to be happy in this moment.I am grateful for everything I have.
I am capable of change.
I always take the best care of myself.